He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
