I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
