i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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