I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
There r osticjed everywhere
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
