I've blown a few things in my day
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
