My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
