Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
