the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Randomize
