I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
