You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
