well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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