what if every blade of grass was a penis?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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