Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize