So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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