Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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