is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
