Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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