i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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