apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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