Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
