don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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