I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
