never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
