I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
