Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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