I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
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