Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
