Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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