I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
