when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
