Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize