i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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