just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
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