I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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