I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
