Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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