But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
