dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
