My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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