porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
