Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Randomize