Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
