He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
