xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
