what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
