I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
