Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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