A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Randomize
