and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
