How'd it feel making her break her religion?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
The power of my boobs compel you
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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