# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
It was confusing and full of hummus
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
