You're a womanizer and a bitch.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
