Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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