Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize