He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
