I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
