i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
