Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
