her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
