i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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