I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
