Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
