Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
