this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize